When Estela Díaz entered the Cook County courthouse on 26th and California last November, she steadied herself with a reminder: Expect nothing. Díaz was attending the start of the court proceeding for the fatal shooting of her 18-year-old son, Fernando Zadkiel Vega-Díaz. The insensitive way Díaz said police treated her immediately after Zadkiel’s death made her assume that the trial would not be any less painful.
“Most of the families, when they get to the courtroom, they’re expecting a lot and the system doesn’t work that fast,” Díaz said. “The system is cruel, really cruel… so don’t expect anything, good or bad.”
Díaz’s experience reflects that of many survivors, including victims of everyday gun violence or people who survive mass shootings, like the one in Highland Park, Illinois. They say the judicial process is often traumatic, forcing them to relive their most painful moments in an environment that can be cold and impersonal. Chicagoans like Díaz who’ve gone through this process — along with the advocates who help them weather trials — say there are some things that survivors and their supporters should know.
The Trace spoke with six experts — victim advocates and survivors — to learn about the ways people can better prepare. While each expert acknowledged that there isn’t a single best approach, because what might benefit one person could hinder another, they shared advice based on what the people they’ve worked with have found useful. They suggested having a plan before every court appearance, leaning on people who can provide support, and bracing for the blunt, unfiltered nature of a trial. We’ve compiled some of their wisdom here with the hopes that it might help other Chicagoans navigate this complicated journey.
Let go of expectations
It’s important to let go of expectations about the outcome of the trial, said Michael Winters, the reentry and support services coordinator at the Institute for Nonviolence, a West Side nonprofit that provides victim advocacy. Winters encourages families to avoid thinking that the trial will inevitably bring them closure, because envisioning a specific outcome can lead to disappointment.
“I run into a lot of instances where people are expecting closure or a final peace to come through in court,” Winters said. “The truth is 90 percent of the time you’re not going to feel satisfied when the trial is done for whatever reason — whether you’re not happy with the verdict, or you just realized this wasn’t what you were looking for.”
Getting through detention hearings
While all cases are different, homicide trials typically begin with detention hearings, in which prosecutors work to prove that the alleged shooter should remain in police custody. These initial hearings can be jarring for survivors because prosecutors often share vivid details about the case, said Reyna Nieto, a criminal justice advocate at Chicago Survivors. Nieto makes sure to tell the families she guides that detention hearings can be graphic.
“Everything is going to be very blunt,” said Nieto. “There’s going to be evidence that’s going to be spoken about [which is] very detailed and descriptive, things that the families may not know… because they have to prove that this person is a danger to society.”
Experts also emphasized that survivors should know that courtrooms have open seating. Each expert shared stories about instances when survivors were surprised to find themselves sitting next to the defendant’s family or supporters. Nieto tells families about this possibility so that they can be prepared to move seats, step outside, or remain calm. She stresses that while she understands the emotional response to seeing the accused’s family, disruptions in court could have negative consequences including being removed or held in contempt. They may not be allowed to return until the trial portion begins.
The process can be slow
Early court appearances are often very short as the state works through the procedural aspects of a case, like setting bail, entering a plea, and exchanging evidence. These stages happen before the trial officially begins. During the discovery phase, when the prosecution and the defense exchange information, Nieto said that it’s common for an appearance to take just a few minutes, and for the next one to be scheduled within 60 days.
Díaz was surprised by how fast these first court appearances were. She struggled to understand the processes, make sense of the legal jargon, and regulate her emotions all at the same time. “They don’t really have the time or the patience to give you the time to process everything,” she said.
Trials are often lengthy, sometimes stretching on for years. This is something Ashake Banks knows firsthand. Banks’ 7-year-old daughter, Heaven, was shot and killed outside the family’s home in June 2012. The shooter wasn’t sentenced until January 2020. Banks thought the trial was behind her, but recently found herself in court again because the shooter is seeking an appeal.
Banks now works as a victim advocate for the Institute for Nonviolence. She often tells the survivors that the legal process can be slow and draining, but stresses the importance of persistence.
“I tell them please just don’t give up. Keep on praying. Keep on fighting. Keep calling and bugging the police department. Keep talking to the officers that’s on your case,” Banks said. “Just don’t give up.”
Have a plan for before, during, and after trial
Each expert emphasized the importance of having a plan before every court appearance. While they emphasized that nothing can truly prepare someone for moments like seeing the alleged shooter, they recommended strategies including grounding techniques, bringing another person for support, and having an exit plan.
This preparation looks different for everyone. For Díaz, it was working with her therapist to discuss the range of emotions she was feeling before the court process began, and going over breathing techniques to keep her grounded inside the courtroom. She recently started attending court alone because she found it less overwhelming than having someone with her. Banks leaned into her spirituality to steady herself, keeping prayer a regular part of her daily routine.
Winters said it’s also important to have a plan for what to do after court. Because appearances are often emotional, he suggests survivors take the day off work if possible, or at least find time afterward to decompress.
Working with a victim advocate
Experts also stressed the benefits of working closely with a victim advocate like Banks or Nieto, people who can offer emotional support while helping survivors understand the legal processes. The State’s Attorney Office often connects survivors to victim advocates once it believes their case will likely make it to trial. This doesn’t always happen, so experts also suggest that survivors ask the state’s attorney for an advocate or call a community group that offers victims services. Organizations like Chicago Survivors, the Institute for Nonviolence, BUILD, Inc, and Alliance of Local Service Organizations (ALSO) can help survivors get through the court process.
Checking in with prosecutors
As soon as Díaz enters the courthouse, she makes sure to inform staff that she’s the mom of a victim in a case that’s being heard that day. This enables prosecutors to be notified that the victim’s family is present, so they can set aside time to speak with survivors about what to expect that day, provide updates on the case, and answer questions. Checking in is important, Nieto said, because once each side begins presenting their cases, victims can tell prosecutors that they don’t want to see certain pieces of evidence. Prosecutors will then know to signal to the family that they’re about to present certain details, which allows survivors to step outside.
Preparing an impact statement
Survivors typically present written victim impact statements or oral remarks that victims or families share to show how the crime has affected them. Impact statements are personal, and often occur at the end of the trial after a conviction but before sentencing. Experts suggested that survivors speak with an advocate or a loved one to prepare their statements.
Díaz said she’s spoken with her therapist about the moment when she’ll have to try to condense the impact of losing her son down to several paragraphs and speak them in front of the person who killed him. Although her therapist suggested she write something beforehand, she knows herself well enough to predict that she’ll toss whatever she prepares, opting to speak from her heart, instead.
That’s what Les Jenkins tells families to do. Jenkins is the associate director of reentry and support services at the Institute for Nonviolence. He often reminds families that they have only one chance to express to the court what their loss means to them.
“Ain’t no do-overs,” Jenkins said. “Please let it come from your heart and your soul because this is the last time you’re going to read this, maybe the last time that you’re going to see the perpetrator that killed your loved one. Go in that courtroom, hold your head up high, and make your statement be felt from the grave site of your child because the judge is listening, the jury is listening, so make it count.”
Give yourself grace
In the nearly 13 years since her daughter’s death, Banks has helped many families begin rebuilding their lives in the aftermath of tragic losses. One lesson she finds herself repeating to parents of murdered children is that their loss is not their fault. She said it’s common for parents to blame themselves, especially during trials. She reminds families that the issue of gun violence is bigger than their individual choices.
“One mother told me, ‘Oh my God, I should have moved out of the neighborhood. I should have did this. I should have did that,” Banks said. “And I told her, ‘We do the blame game, but we didn’t have jobs, we didn’t have resources, we just didn’t have nothing but each other. I have to tell them you did your job. You did only what you can do.’”
